Sunday, May 22, 2005

happy happy happy

^-^ all smiles!!!
I had a greeeaaat day today! Although it's just simple day,but I'm all smiling!
Today,had short time at work,then,zzoommed off to bake the blueberry cheese tarts!Yesss...blueberry cheese tarts.One of my favourite titbits!I learn it from friend's mom(Ad's).Just can't wait to bake my second round on my own at home-soon...soon!!Dad loves it..and it's my favourite too!I like baking and am really happy that I am picking this up again..yippee!!!

Then,just now,went for friend's(fellow colleague) band.He plays in the restaurant.He plays the percussion.COOOOLLLLLLLL...Actually,he is my drum teacher. :) The percussion performance me & several colleagues have been practicing.I can actually say that I was pretty impressed with the quality of sound produced.Good band.Had great company,good sound/music,good food(affordable price-not TOO pricey),wat do i ask for anymore?Just such a beautiful day. ^_^
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Suddenly thought of blogging about something else I have been keeping in mind.My dear student -LPJ.The dear gal who was diagnosed diabetes at age 7(about 2mths back).She no longer takes piano classes from me and am resting at home.According to her sisters,she regularly takes insulin jabs several times a day and,it's quite likely that she will have to take it for the rest of her life.I could see that her sisters are equally effected by this as they are no longer as playful and cheerful as before.

I was telling them,that it is 'normal' to get diabetes and even tried to joke about lifting her feet up whenever she complains about her frequent headache because there is just not enough glucose to go up to her head.Then,I explain to them why she needs the jabs and what insulin does.Then,her sister tells me that LPJ's liver has failed.
I just pray that the gals smile more often,not let this bring down their chirpy mood.

HAPPY WESAK DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...i'm so looking forward to full day tomorrow.
:) all smiles.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Beautiful Sunday

As time gets nearer and nearer to july..My heart beats harder and harder.I can't help it.I'm a mixture of both happy/sad.Both excited/fearful.

I tendered my resignation with a sigh of relief.A relief from all the responsibilities and worries.A relief from the hectic burden an auditor carries and is demanded from.A relief that I have finally made a decision and executed it.No doubt,I am going to miss the exponential learning curve from this knowledge house.I'm definitely going to miss the colleagues who are at the same age group,who shares similar goals/competition.The zest everyone has towards getting the job done & minding over who does a better job at it.(lol!)And of course,minding over one another all the time.(this,i'm not sure whether i will miss or not)

I'm not getting any younger with many more issues going through my mind.This round,the letting go process is definitely deeper and will take a longer time.I wonder,how did the Buddha let go his wife & child?!(and family and kingdom & along with it-power,wealth,fame,comfortability..etc).Definitely,lots to think about,lots of arrangements in which he needs to settle before his journey.(I sure hope/assume he was responsible in delegating his duties!!)I would say,it probably took him,a year to prepare?Just guessing.

Today,at Rumah Hope,we were supposed to read out what everyone says about us individually.We wrote it onto a piece of paper and put it into respective envelopes a week before.Everyone goes back feeling so good about themselves-including me.:)

It's so late now.But,I'm still wondering about....what will happen,what will become of me?What is my life's route?If I knew,it's so much easier to plan...(hahah.but less fun).Will type my thoughts another time. For now,I will take a break.

At Yamaha,the annual concert is a day after I leave.So,my percussion performance,which I have practiced along with other fellow teachers for weeks...will not happen.I guess,I just am not meant to attend the annual concert this time round.Sigh.Was/am pretty disappointed,actually.Wat can do?They will have to find a replacement teacher to play the cymbals. :( :(

Letting go is so hard to do.
Holding on is not easy either. sigh!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

wowee

:) I get emails this round!
I'm definitely on a happier mood this time/week.
Things are rolling-tat's for sure.

Good friends are such rare treasures.Rare indeed.I am so blessed with many many good friends who happen to help me,value me,treasure me & maybe,acknowledge my existence.Gives so much more meaning to my life.

I watched a movie today-Kingdom of Heaven. :) It's a mixture of the things I dread to watch & glad because,the end of it all,XXXXXXX (just deleted this-or else I'll get firing!).So,not too bad.Lol..tat's a real simple way of putting a description to this show!lol!Followed by a 3 hr conversation-kewllll....catching up and chatting & mm..learning lots of 'whatz happening in the world'

That's where good friends come in.A variety of friends will give a variety of exposure & topic of conversation.I admit,I am not a really good conversationalist when it comes to pretty technical stuffs- like, "what do you think about the current political situation in the country?".I'll go.mm. ahh.. *blank*.But,go on! Keep talking and there's where I 'read' my newspaper or refer to my encyclopedia!LOL!!hahahah!!But,seriously,I enjoyed every moment of talking/listening.

I love saturdays now..since I don't teach any longer on saturdays!This is my second saturday but I'm happy already!
Thx for such wonderful time -WM&E
Tomorrow another round of breakfast with KCBAbunchies.
FM,I'll keep on blogging. :)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Ah! Blog

I'm gonna start work soon again.Leave will be over..so I better blog as much as I want now before I get back to buzy buzy wok wok wok.Sigh.Gonna miss ungodly hours like now,typing away,browsing,and 'checking out'.Suddenly feel like blogging today.Somewhat emotional.

My car(mom's/dad's car)needs a compressor change.RM500.... sigh. I have got a request for sponsorship/donation to a buddhist camp-which,I'm still currently on-the-fence(undecided).Honestly,when it comes to donation,I would like to give it at own free will,not requested.It's at that point of time where I feel exceptionally grateful and with tat kind of sincerity,do I think the donation is worthwhile.Not out of obligation.Agh,I think too much.

Mm.A few weeks back,one of the boys in the Rumah Hope just looks at me and asks me:"Sister,your eyes,ah,very special.From afar,it looks pitch black,but closeup,it's brown.Very nice."Words like these can make my heart flutter and melt.Tat look on his face,with amazement-makes me feel like a goddess!

Just two days back,another trip to Rumah Hope,many things happen which makes me feel warm and fuzzy until today.Upon leaving,this particular kid,as usual,shakes my hand(and others) after the session.This time,he puts his head/face towards my hand,in which he clasp with both hands(a normal,malay culture,a sign of respect to those older-normally,to parents).If he held my hands any longer,I would shed a tear.

....

I gave one of my book that means a lot to me to a girl in the Home.I hope she keeps it close to her heart as I did.She may find it much more relevant to her than to me now that I am way down the road from my teenage years.It was a gift to me,and I'm simply passing it down as a gift to someone else.....

AH! enough pondering.
Now is a moment of blogging................lol....

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Meditation

"'One of the minds' behaviour during meditation is to fall into laziness.In other words,'sloth & toppor arises'".This was one of the first few things I heard from the briefing on satipatthanna meditation.All I could think of then,was "Quick!Let me begin,I just can't wait to start!Let's just get straight to it!"

All in all,what I thought to be,a 10-5 meditation,in quality-my concentration did not last more than half and hour.Alas!Was pretty blown away with the understanding that I lack the willpower to overcome & instead,succumb to watever,at the minds' will.

What a downgrade!What a contrast to my previous noting/awareness session during camps,& occassional visits to SJBA few years back.Somewhat,realizing that I am not as sharp as before.*of course,there are good meditation times & not so good ones like this one*(but those were 1 hr session as compared to this-whole day thing!)

I started off with walking meditation.Pretty good.That was where my half and hour of good concentration lies.I noted & noted & noted & then,started noting the heaviness in my tummy.Then,it becomes,indigestion & becomes,thoughts of 'how I should not have eaten roti planta in the morning'.Then,I couldn't walk anymore as I broke into sweat & wanting to sit down(v.badly).I was whining!lol!

Stopped complaining the moment I sat.Comfortable immediately.So comfortable,I fell sleepy instead.Let myself doze off when I shouldn't have.Coaxed myself to concentrate so,I was in between "concentration-lazy-sleepy-concentration-lazy-sleepy".All I did was 'okay,try again'.Then,before I could remember,I was already nodding away.Then,'sigh.try again.'

After lunch,walking meditation again.Not as mindful as before but,somewhere there.Wat is supposed to be 'noting',becomes 'chanting'.Mechanically,I just mention for the sake of mentioning-"lift(feet),down,shift".Only when I started noting "leef,dawn,sift(or something like tat)"I realize,I wasn't concentrating anymore!agh.

......
It's good to go for a session with a group of yogis(*practicing meditators).Just by looking at them encourages me to continue on.Of course,good thing,I don't have problems with sitting long hours as compared to previously.Now,it's just the awareness which I need to build on.Or is it,because,since I wasn't aware of all the sensations,it then enables me to sit for long hrs?LOL!

I get easily tired.Came home in the evening,went to sleep.(mentally,thinking that I have over-exerted myself..when all I did was sit?!)There,was juggling between reality & dream.I'm worrying and worrying too much?Or just plain lazy.

Will try again.
Oh yea,one good thing for the day- I didn't give time to think or worry.So,tat's a plus plus point for the day.It's only,noting & drowsiness.
Maybe spend a day-try again.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Everyday Thoughts

What are thoughts that popped up during the day?
Malaysia:
Unique in some ways.There are loads of good points but still some others which we lack so much.I like to 'mamak' a lot.Just came back from a short conversation with JL.When JL was bz on the phone,I busied myself just by looking at how the staff work.The Indian guy in the canai section,the malay lady in the maggi mee section.Let's not even try to classify in terms of race.Coz,I could be wrong.Someone once told me that opening a restaurant is like immediate ATM machine.Liquidity in cash.So,go open a restaurant.LOL!*pls read disclaimer-unquote*

Read somewhere,2 interesting thing.
1)Almost 80% of our day,we occupy thoughts relating to self.What I want to do,where I can go,how I want things done,so-n-so.(Mmm..maybe wrong for those in r/ship)
2)Thoughts do not belong to the 'self'.If I were to dig out the source of my thoughts,it must have been picked up from somewhere else.(Ajahn Brahm's book)
It was difficult to swallow at first,since I'm so ego driven by my own thoughts.At times,proud of what I'm churning.But,there's truth in tat statement.

Times like these,is when I can stop to think,observe,take time out to-mm..meditate?My other thoughts for today: agenda for the week lined up-
wed night-metta meditation in BGF.Sat-satipatthana meditation,Sun-blood donation,Rumah Hope.Next monday-Yamaha 'Music Theory for Young Children'.
This is the 'brownie point' week.^-^

Heartbreaking news.Should I repair my laptop for RM1200???Or *gulp*,buy a new one for much more than that amount??Expenses keeps on coming in...there's my CPA annual subscription fee overdue as well.Car needs air-con fixing,I realize.Nearly lost my job in Tchcs today and my YMH placement is over.Should I take up a short term job of 2 weeks?mm... :O
Greedy?Don't think so.I just have high expenses.sigh.

Good chat with JL.Thx for spending the few hrs despite the tiredness written on ur face.Basically talks about work & other stuffs.Just good to meet up. :)
It takes a lot out of someone in the corporate field.Unless you have the apt for it,
and flexible to the kind of change in oneself.It gets much more heated up if the competition is stiff.Some ppl love the competition-drives to excel.Admirable.Some others,things just flow accordingly,with or without a bit of hard work.Ah!Life!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

How are warts on the skin removed?

http://familydoctor.org

1)Applying salicylic acid (tried,did not work)
2)Applying cantharidin
)Applying liquid nitrogen--Your doctor may use liquid nitrogen to freeze the wart. This treatment is called cryotherapy. Applying liquid nitrogen to the wart causes a little discomfort. To completely remove a wart, liquid nitrogen treatments may be needed every 1 to 3 weeks for a total of 2 to 4 times. If no improvement is noted, your doctor may recommend another type of treatment (I will add: blisters will occur after liquid nitrogen is sprayed onto the wart)
4)Other treatments for warts on the skin -burning the wart, cutting out the wart and removing the wart with a laser.

Blistercare- http://www.physsportsmed.com/issues/1997/12dec/blisters.htm
Small, intact blisters that don't cause discomfort usually need no treatment. Nature's best protection against infection is a blister's own skin, or roof. To protect the roof, this type of blister can be covered with a small adhesive bandage if practical.

Larger or painful blisters that are intact should be drained without removing the roof. First clean the blister with rubbing alcohol or antibiotic soap and water. Then heat a straight pin or safety pin over a flame until the pin glows red, and allow it to cool before puncturing a small hole at the edge of the blister.

Drain the fluid with gentle pressure, then apply an antibiotic ointment such as bacitracin with polymyxin B (double antibiotic ointment) or bacitracin alone. Avoid ointments that contain neomycin because they are more likely to cause an allergic reaction.

Finally, cover the blister with a bandage. Change the dressing daily--more frequently if it becomes wet, soiled, or loose.

Blisters

Do you poke at blisters and let the liquid run out or just wait for it?It hurtsss...

I have 3 big blisters.For experiment,I poked one,left another one just like tat, and the third one,it's yet to form.It seems that the one I poked,with daily/hourly cleaning,it hurts less.It's the other two tat hurts so much.....have been limping for a week now!!!So,should I poke blisters to make it less hurting?

How am I going to go for dance class ler?! agh!The reason why I have blisters is because I had liquid nitrogen sprayed at my feet.The reason why I have liquid nitrogen sprayed at my feet is because I had small warts.The reason why I have small warts is because...I dunno.So,it has been an interesting week for me.hahaha!!

Warts are harmless actually.It's like a piece of extra skin(like corn).Now,why did I let dad convince me to get rid of it and put myself into this situation?!lol..and I'm blogging about it.hahaha!!!

Interesting- health care information.