Friday, October 05, 2007

Events

Blig-

Events playing round n round in my head:

Sad farewell to colleague S
Mixed emotions,partly, her main motive of leaving..is it really family pressure?If yes, I truly feel for her.Is it because of career advancement,if yes, am I her obstacle?Why can't she n I handle it? Life is cruel as you step up the corporate ladder.It is a harsh world..or rather,man made it harsh.Afterall, in life, we DO feed off each other and not fight off one another.But why do we make life so? If one thinks about it, it's utterly nonsensical having the feeling of superiority and seniority,....erm..actually,I think I take my words back.LOL. Life IS somewhat competitive too..haha.I'm confused. There you have ethics, on one hand, moral lessons and what not, but on the other hand, you see something somewhat utterly different.Why do we teach our children lies? That everything is a bed of roses? Or not? Weird.

Anyway- everything moves on. It doesn't just stop there. We mourn,but for a moment.Like the song, 'why do the birds go on singing?..etc etc' There's no why."See things as they are" .....profound concept....almost impossible to comprehend. For me,at least.

Yesterday,before I fall asleep at 930,made a statement,something like, geewiz,I do get tired easily,lately.N remarked,U must b working hard. Like a pin drop,it just hit me. Not exactly working hard,but thinking hard.I saw one of my x colleague get sacked when his wife is due to deliver somewhere Oct,this mth, 3 mths ago.Incompetent.Easily replaced with someone who was able to.Me. Hard to swallow,but work goes on,I took on the task like breathing. Not my fault? How do I handle this? By doing nothing. And sometimes, nothign is the best thing. But the thought lingers....

At every moment, there's bound to be a goodbye someday.Getting prepared for every event is no longer a practical solution. Accepting the truth of impermanence just seems too hard to apply despite it sounding so easy.What do you do?Nothing. Sigh and move on. In fact, dont' even sigh...for that sigh will keep you wanting for more,yearning for the event,relive it in the heart, played forever in the mind again and again like a broken record.

What do you do?Meditate? HA.HA. The older one gets, the harder the practice becomes....the accumulated broken records....my my.... Imagine a 80yr old meditating,Mr K for eg.He must have been doing it for AGES to get to where he is now.And he still does, every evening.How many ppl can do that? I'm near 30s and I'm already slacking in the practice.

So, what do you do? lol..... you keep yourself occupied with little mundane things like watch a movie, type a blog, keep healthy, eat some chips and life does move on.

Just a little entry worth letting go.Let not,the thought linger...

1 Comments:

At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good post.

 

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