Everyday Thoughts

Off my Chest

Blig,

Sudden thought -to ramble on n on. Suddenly worried over me losing my 'identity'.Then,thought again, what identity? Well,I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, one thing for sure is, I do love music. Was so excited just now, came home, watch 'So you think you can dance'..MAN...they are AMAZING!! The way those ladies move, and the men dance.....leave me in awe. I just hate the fact that this show is on thursdays when I tutor....lucky thing for me today, it's school hols and I get to WATCH the show! I loved it!!! I wish I can stay watching it till the end...but...guess I've gotta buy the 'dvd'/show after the season ends. Lucky thing is,I still get to watch Aus Idol on Sundays....and their voice is -STUNNING.

Now that I've got my voice back.And by the end of the year,I will have a heavy load off my shoulders....I'M GONNA SING!I'M GONNA DANCE!I'M GONNA MAKE MUSIC!!! After the show,I was just so inspired,I had myself play the piano for an hour. Not much,but, wish I cld make more music. I am tired of just reading off the sheets. I'm aiming to memorize these new pieces..or rather,ol' classical pieces.I'm working on Mozart in Sonata in D and Chopin's Valse at the moment.Easy pieces,but my fingers are so rusty..I just am dissapointed with my stamina. The digital piano ain't helping much either...the touch is just not there. But, at least, something my fingers can work on.I'm gonna start writing out all those songs recorded in my kawai.

Ooo,..reminded me of the ballet I watched with YQ(cuz) when she came to visit somewhere in Jul/Aug? YQ,THANK U SO MUCh for dragging me there.I have now become such a cocoon....am so lazy!! Just not inspired, not, motivated, not anything.I'VE GOTTA get this end of the year thing off the way. It's eating me alive.

This morning, mgr brought K and I to the retirement villages,ILUs and n.h. At times,I think to myself...why am I so upset that I feel so underdressed?? Then I realize that I am just stressing myself out of nothing. Why do I have some kind of inferiority complex at times when it's just MOST inappropriate? There's nothing wrong with the outing today,I loved it!! The place was great, we had good chat w the finance team, Sm &K ,they were great! I am glad I'm working w such wonderful team...but it's myself I've gotta battle with. The personality is just not 'there'.Then I wonder, what happened to my comfortableness under my own skin? Boy,what am I whinging about? lol!! Just so confused at the moment. Need time to clear the air....just something different to the normal routine, messing my whole system!! haha!! Which is a good thing actually.

I guess, this second half is just sooo eventful. Too many things happening, hard to keep track. Even emotionally, it is pretty much very volatile. I'm just glad the trough is over and I'm sure it's the 'picking up' times.... what happened to Buddhism? Second half? MMm...slack. Buddhist wannabe- totally. I need to pick up again.Music, Accounting, Tutoring, Buddhism, Read books/novels, EXERCISE!!!... okay, throw in some travelling and spending/shopping as well.

Self Assessment:
Why do I feel 'tired' all the time? Lazy bum. Became a BIG BUM. Get the ass moving and go to the GYM song, u idiot.(learn all these wordings from Smn too much!!haha)
Moody? I need to get this second half out of the way.It's draining me dry...I wanna have fun next year.2007 is just so draining. Lack happy-ness, lack smiles, ---
too much whinging
Best explanation?Been too self absorbed this year. It's all about mEEeee... feel like punching myself now. lol.... there's other ppl u know,Songie. Go and catch up with all ur friends u've been slack in keeping-in-touch.What happeend to Wabbie? I need to get my life back. :) :) It's just the xAM in the way. Go away Nov 7!Or rather,COME ON OVER NOV8!!


Okay, I'm just getthing things off my chest. Everything harmless.
Okay, happy now. Ah! KAMBATEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KAYAUUU!!

posted by Songie @ 5:56 AM