Saturday, April 28, 2007

Mixed up Mind

Dearie Jnl,

Bothering me.
1) I empathise at the current Msian situation-whereby ppl contemplate either to migrate or to stay on. Mostly LKS's blog hightlight such issues. Heart wrenching,if you even bother to notice.

2) Just heard news of a friend off to the states to try her luck over there. What happens if one is pushed to the edge, seeking to be an illegal migrant, despite consequences. What has caused one to even opt for such decision?

3) My life. Agg...this coming weeks feels like such a heavy burden. Afraid, too. What-if, things don't work out? What-if's should not exist. What happened to confidence? Seek that out before it's too late!

4) Sis to the States. She gives me the impression to 'lay off' her business. Guess, she is all grown up now, doesn't need big sis to give opinions any longer. Mm. Need to learn to 'back off'.

5) My life -again. Big sigh of relief that I'm still hanging on. Big sigh of relief that I know, with hard work and preserverence, (and extremely important - patience)...I will get there. Thing is; are there any 'easier' way out of this? Am I just narrowly thinking that life should be like this and haven't had the wisdom to see 'outside-the-box'? (yet??)

6) The sudden realization that I'm real grown up now. Full responsibility over my decisions in life. Besides, life is only lived once. (If not, I'll just have to come back again the next life to correct my mistakes, unfortunately)

7) Met up with friend CL. How we share so much in common in terms of principles. One, whom, I dare say, have lots in common. Priviledged to have that chat- brought back loads and loads of thoughts back. Now, he will soon be off to UK.

Whokay...WAkeEUPP....keep going keep going keep going keep GOIN!!!!!


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Memories...more recent one




Friday, April 20, 2007

Short One

Dear Blig,

I'll make things short. This week is LONG week for me...challenging, both mentally and physically. I kinda enjoy it ...and although it's Sat, there's still class for me. :) Tiring as it may seem....I feel pretty much alive and satisfied.

Weird. Haven't felt these kind of good 'tense' for some time now. Better enjoy it while it last. Have been returning home at 10 from Tuesday to Thursday and yesterday, stayed bit 'later' at work. I've got a deadline to rush for this coming Tuesday. Ta'ts good stuff. Never did know that financial accounting is different from conventional accounting whereby we can just throw everything off tangent across sections. Ie, Asset/Liability, Equity and PL is involved when interim bonus/final bonus is calculated. Cool. To top things off, as though the challenge is not enough, my friend Alx won't be reporting to work for the next....month due to operation. So, I've got 2 px's role to juggle. How interesting is that??

The better thing is - CFO monitors my duties close enough for me to rely on whenever I hit a bump.The cool part is- he knows where the mess is, if not, able to logic it out for me. In short, a good guidance whenever I am stucked. THANK YOU !!!

Haaah....big sigh. I hope everything works well by end of May. I've got 4 more weeks of battle......KAMBATEH.....keep going keep going keep going .. uh huh... uh huh...


Sunday, April 08, 2007

Music to my ears

Is there anything which will make ur heart skip a beat? Soothing to the mind... go off into a dreamy state... that kind of feeling, only one thing-


I saw the ipod sitting on the table. Plug it on, put it to my ears..and I'm flying awayyy... then, it eases everything. It could bring tears to my eyes. Bring joy to my heart. Bring a new rhythm into my life. Music to my ears.

This is how music can affect me. This is how intoxicating music can do to me. This is how...I smile. :)

June....please, allow me to purchase my very own piano. Okay..tat's far fetched..okay..pls let me own a digital piano. :) Just a small humble wish..pls grant me this? June..june..june..June..

Thanks to sis for her music..I love em. :) (not all, but most..)
Lullying..... to the melody of the music.... those soothing harmonies. Pray, I am able to do my thesis too.... the one I love. Have never regretted my choice to do pgrad dip/MStudies. Wish I could do more, should resources & time permit.

What makes me happy? Music. :)


Saturday, April 07, 2007

Reason To Smile

At last,now, a blog that changes the mood. A smiley mood-ed blog. Yea, I'm feeling quite up up up today...woke up on the right side of bed this morning, I guess. Maybe coz it's a Sat and to know that I've got 2 more extra days off work feels fantastic. ^-^ So, thought, ah, I better blog something- give it a turn. Back to a slightly more colourful shade.

Watched 7 Yrs in Tibet, starring Brad Pitt. I just love stuffs with buddhist themes on it. The very fact that I was watching it in the nursing home with P made it even more special. Today, I played the piano for her and the crowd loves it!! It's amazing that, with time, I can even cook something up and just bluff my way through for an hour! Then, I realize, that, it doesn't matter which difficult piece I could play or how many wrong notes I have made.... it is that special thing that I have acquired and could share with. The gift of music. I had a crowd clapping each time I 'supposedly' finished a piece (or just, simply tried to end it). That made my day....I just hope it doesn't spoil theirs..hahahahah...

The nice thing is; I could 'hear' my chords move from one place to another. Although my fingers rests on familiar, basic could hear them. I can't wait for my piano in June!! A gift to myself.... I really really need it.

Then, there's the movie. My time with P was supposed to end at 2, but she asked me to choose a movie from her huge pile of collection at quarter to 2. Since it's a movie I was curious about- P asks me to watch the whole movie. And, so, I stayed back to watch this beautiful film. And, after the movie, as I was driving, I passed this flower vendor, and bought myself a bouquet of lilies (not bloomed yet).

Although I had not studied today.... I don't think the day is wasted. I shall strive on. Besides, I've got another 2 days!!!! yayy!!

Blessed life:
1) Beautiful family and friends, neighbours, bosses, seniors, colleagues...
2) Peaceful life
3) Colourful events, stolen car, music teaching, caring for others, activities....
4) Baking, cooking, cleaning, washing, things which occupies my time
5) Income to support my livelihood.....
6) Studies which satisfies my curiosity and challenges my thinking mind/intellectual capacity
7) Insightful leader in meditation, a role model and an inspirational guide -Ajahn Kalyano
8) Amazing room - which I call my own. My comfortable refuge, the roof over my head which protects from the harsh realities of life outside. (ie, unpredictable weather)

Ah....this is a good entry. :) An answer to the previous post.


Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Thought I wanna blog what I'm thinking at the moment.

Zombified. Not smiling as often anymore. Why? Too many things happening...(or the lack of it?)

I don't know. This year is just Sometimes, I feel like just letting it go- and not doing anything. But, sometimes, I want to do many many things. This is what we call - fickle minded. Sigh. I'm ranting. I know. This will be another ranting blog.

One thing for sure is 2007 ain't an easy ride. It's only 4th month. I've got 8 months to go. Keep going keep going keep going. You'll be allright. It seems that I don't have enough time...!! Oh well, we can't be too greedy huh.

I've been given an extra hour last week anyway.
Okay, think positive:

1) Friday is a public holiday. GOod! Monday is ALSO a public holiday. Good!
2) The painter will be leaving end this week. Fresh new coat of paint. Good!
3) I'm working. Good.
4) I'm studying. Good.
5) I've been up and time has not been wasted ever since I came back. I've been - busy. Good?
6) Focus!!!! (This one..not too good....)

What I need:
1) I want some flowers in my unit
2) I want a digital piano
3) I want to clear my mind- I've been pretty 'grey' lately..what's wrong? Or nothing's wrong?
4) I need to meditate and STAY calm. Don't stress.
Yea.. I need to NOT STRESS.

I've gotta go.

Lastly - I need to smile. I need to find a reason to smile. Students?? Friends??mm..let's find out..