Monday, June 27, 2005

Jazz Groove Review

Last day of Jazz Groove dance.Comment? Interesting.*duh* **slaps forehead**

Loads of "inner" movements,hip movement,shoulder movement,moderate tempo.What my teacher say is true-very 'cat-tish'.Puuuurrrr.. The cat on the move,quiet,and almost at anytime,about to pounce.Uses pointy feet,stretched out hands,"witchy" fingers and arrogant facial expression when dancing.Always low,but alert.

So,it's not jumpy like hiphop,not loud like funk,but I would say,sly,sexy,low,stretched out movements.Truly CATS(the musical play)lol!Songs chosen from singers - Janet Jackson,Michael Jackson, one of the Destiny's Child's member- Kelly Rowland.

I really am disappointed I don't get to sit for exam next week.I know the teacher is disappointed as well.But,honestly,the dance is tough.It's tough because u need to look calm and cool,somewhat as though the movements are unintentional but in actual fact,lots of effort put in.So,one will look really awkward if one tries to look suave/sexy but move mechanically-will ruin everything!!And,for me,I laugh sometimes,when I see myself in the mirror and say,"GEEZ?!what is tat?!"

Some of the dance moves are easy to pick up.Some others,takes me forever to figure out.Complications occur when all dance moves are combined,mixed up and choreographed by the teacher.She takes effort to oversee everyone and comment on each one of us.

All in all,a really good 12-week,eye opening,physical encounter cum workout.Sometimes,must just let the song lead and go-with-the-flow and not count the rhythm like a boring classicist!!And,just be a cat.

I begin to appreciate good dance choreographs,indian movies,and I watch MTV at a different light.

From line dance to jazz groove,now,moving on to jazz funk@african drums/rhythm I see advertised in Uni. ^-^

The Journey

I first heard it on Sunday in Rumah Hope.Still not familiar with the song yet but the lyrics speaks volumes. :) So interesting,the title of one of my first ever written song is entitled 'Journey' as well. ^-^

***hugz to YW,Ming,Ad,Alex,Uncle Sunny and to all the kids in Rumah Hope.***

Title of the song "The Journey"
by Lea Salonga (Lea Salonga- (Atlantic, 1993) album)

Half the world is sleeping,
half the world's awake
half can hear their hearts beat
half just hear them break
I am but a traveler, in most every way
Ask me what you know
What a journey it has been
And the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight
and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my life
I can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in,
what a journey it has been.
I have been to sorrow
I have been to bliss
Where I'll be tomorrow,
I can only guess
Through the darkest desert
Through the deepest snow,
Forward always forward, I go..
What a journey it has been
and the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight
and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my life
I can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in,
what a journey it has been...
Forward, always forward...
Onward, always up...
Catching every drop of hope
In my empty cup
What a journey it has been
And the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight
and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my life
I can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in,
what a journey it has been...
What a journey it has been..

Sunday, June 26, 2005

What constitutes success?

From an inspirational quote book I used to own-

"She has achieved success who has lived well;laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent people and the love of little children;who has filled her niche and accomplished her task; who has left the world better than she found it; ...who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty, or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and give the best she had." -Mrs. A.J.Stanley

After all the obligations of work and now none of it,I'm truly enjoying the freedom.(Of course,in due time,will soon be cashless...lolllll)Somehow,feeling bit more myself,less suppressed.Not sure what the future holds,but pretty satisfied with the current decision to move forward.Wat will be will be.

One fine day,someone asked me,"so,how are u feeling-going over and all?"My answer?"Numb".I have been saying goodbye and goodbye and goodbye to ppl around me,but never really got the final 'goodbye' to sink into my head and stay there.Probably,there is no goodbye.Most likely,I'll see you again.Maybe,for some,not tat often.Maybe for some others,never.

But,isn't that the very same feeling for me when I said my goodbyes to all my dear friends whom I have met in Aus 2 years back to come home for good?I admit,I cried my way home.Never did know I could cry tat much before(for I always think I do not shed tears tat easily)!! That was a difficult goodbye when u know FOR CERTAIN,u won't see the person/those ppl ever again.....
:( (but,miracles DO happen ,eh,JOICE? :) )

So,meantime,the rest,ahh..cmon,I'll BE BACK.(Arnold SCwazEnEGar...however do u spell tat.)

This week

Wowee ...
1 whole week of feeling unemployed.Mm...good!ehehehe.My last day of work was last friday 17june and from then on,it's waking up late and totally bumming around.Woh.How good is tat?I'm feeling a bit mooshy/topsy turvy today..probably due to the whole week.Loads of emotional turmoil going around.

My secondary friends' father passed away last Monday.Idam me natinam hontu,sukhita hontu nyatayo.I pray,and pray and pray...seeing her being so sad somewhat makes me feel so helpless.

Friday(17/6) last day of work
Saturday(18/6) whole day Dhamma Enrichment Camp-Ven Yifa
Sunday(19/6) with dad-Engelbert Humperdick in Genting Highlands(Father's Day)
Monday(20/6)-Fetch mom from KLIA & received Barathi's father's news
Tuesday(21/6) morning-funeral,afternoon, errand running
Wed to Friday(22-4/6)-Packing and errand running & bumming
Saturday(25/6)-ML,Winfrd,CY,Annie, and at night,dear friends' wedding-YShun
Sunday(26/6)-Aunties,Rumah Hope

There's feelings of lost(of loved ones-my friend),then,there's togetherness(friends) and letting go(goodbyes),and of course,auspicious moment-my 'bestfriend's wedding,yesterday.Lastly,the goodbye moments from the kids(and darling volunteers from CyberCare) in Rumah Hope.OH oh...there's also my beautiful cousin's baby boy-4mths old...goodness,superbly cute boy.So,how can I say what do I feel right now?Rojak.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Piano Teacher

A good piano teacher(or rather,music teacher)plays an extremely important role in developing your interest in this area for LIFE.I have a really really dedicated and supportive piano teacher.(And loads of music influence/other teachers around me as I grow up)

Just now,my piano teacher's husband came over to tune my piano.(He is a piano tuner).He actually insisted on coming to tune the piano with the actual intention to have a lengthy chat with me.I truly appreciate that gesture.Topics ranging from whatz happening next door,to the music arena,to the prospects of this field,to what the heck am I studying.All in all,there's definitely loads of new information to digest and weigh.

Apart from that 'hmph,what course are you taking?'tone,he actually expanded my awareness in the vast field music possess.Somewhat,it challenges me not to limit myself by saying,my fingers are already stiff.Stiff it will not be!My aspiration to grasp and absorb much more is at its peak now.Of course,and also to churn it out for my future student's benefit. :)

I hope,when times are low,that I turn back to this page to revive my aspiration and not give up.I hope that when I feel that I can go no further,that, I remind myself of my goal and strive harder.

My hope?To be able to teach higher grades.Real challenge.It's not easy to be able to do that.Must be technically competent,critical,sharp,knowledgeable, flexible,good communication required with a little bit of creativity(when it comes to dealing with children,teenagers..and also,parents).

Then,be able to teach teachers,teach educators to be better educators.Cewah.Now being very ambitious ler now.^-^ Then,on leisure/constant basis,hold performance classes/masterclasses,choir classes,sharing of music,jamming session,...geez, I definitely need to get someplace far away from housing area for the level of noise I'm anticipating.LOL!

A place where musicians,amateurs,music lovers can meet up and learn together.Like the penang MPRhythm or something-which is flourishing pretty well.Of course,not only music,but Arts,too.Where my sister can do her part. ( )

I'm just a piano teacher. Or am I jUST a piano teacher? *wink*

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Venerable Dr. Yifa

Dhamma Enrichment Camp 930am-500pm.18th June 2005.
Topic on : Prajnaparamita Sutra (better known as Diamond Sutra)
-Intro to Diamond Sutra, Non-Dualism & The Principle of Reality & The Real Meaning of Emptiness.

Venerable Dr.Yifa obtained her Law degree from the prestigious national universtity of Taiwan and later her MAA in Philosophy in the University of Hawaii.She later went on to obtain her Phd in Religious Studies in Yale University and am currently the professor of *Mcquire Uni?She has been ordained as a nun in Fo Guang Shan since she was in her early 20s and been nominated as one of the leading women in Taiwan.

How admirable.Not much of her titles,but more of her as a person.She has this-..just something about her that I definitely look up to.
I went for her talk a year before this on the topic of the Heart Sutra-by Avalokitesvera(wrong spelling?),better known as Kuan Yin Pusa.

Overload of information,I came home with a headache.
:) Maybe in due time,I'll get the concept of the Diamond sutra.
In summary,she tries to help us understand the major idea/structure and language of the sutra,in which,deals with lots of repetition.She began with explaining several important words-sunyata,paramita,the main idea of buddhism,why things change,madhyamika and then on towards vajracchedika(the diamond sutra)

What is the main idea of Buddhisam?
The core idea deals with patitasammupatda(wrong spelling),the interdependent origination,cause and effect,in which,is the universal truth.

Why things change?
Anatta-non self nature in which the Diamond sutra helps us to further understand anatta.Self should not be confused with 'I' factor but rather,Self should be defined as,something which is -unchangeable,independent and indivisible.Ppl suffer because of the idea/concept of self(i.e,definition above).,that things are permanent,rather,unchangeable.Non-self,on the other hand,should be approached as changeable,interdependent and divisible. (And,that is how we should look at life?)

After understanding the destruction of things as they are(anatta),we need to reconstruct and lead on with the provisional self.Meaning,even after we have understood anatta,non-self concept,we should still take things as they are.In which-is the middle path.This,is -what the Mahayanese approach on non-dualism.

It talks about reality and non reality.(non dualism).Not real does not mean do not exist.Not real means, temporary existence.In which,all conditioned things are like a bubble,dew,mirage, dream.It does not mean it does not exist,but rather,it's only temporary.

Then,move on to vajracchedika.The 2 kinds of illusion and ignorance-on person and illussion on the dharma(the teachings of the Buddha).
She then went on to explain the hindrances which is caused by our defilements/afflictions,our emotions and by our wrong views.Then,on towards the technical part of the sutra(several verses through the text) and ended the session with a thorough read through of the Diamond Sutra.

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!

Live Life

Speak kindness. Live kindness. Breathe kindness. Spread kindness.

You will not go wrong.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Entry-quick one

Let's backtrack -
Fri 17/6 - Last day work
Thurs 16/6- fetch sis from college -back 1130pm(and typing blog now)
Wed 15/6 -KLIA,send FM off
Tues 14/6 -Screwed up at work,Got my laptop,screwd up and ended up at home chatting with JL 130am(just to make my mood much better.thx dude,and sorry,FM) and loads of ppl calling in,dunno why.-(elaine,wm....)
Mon 13/6 - cannot remember
Sunday 12/6- Karaoke,KCBA bunchies. Rumah HOpe
Sat 11/6- Work
Fri 10/6 - cannot remember...

Okay...cannot remember.


An end of something is a beginning of another thing.

I learnt this in Rumah Hope last sunday. It's about letting go and moving on. We have 2 boys going off from the Home and moving on to Montfort boys school.And ,somehow, a lesson for me too.

I'm actually very very tired now.I have been meeting ppl after work or doing something after work and not getting enough rest.But,as usual, I need to blog this down before everything goes away in a blink of an eye.Then, I won't be able to track back what has been happening.

Mm.Yesterday, sent off a dear pal off back to England for the ,say,4th or,is it 5th year?(every once a year).My annual event.Honestly,I have been to KLIA so often....maybe at least 15 times a year.(that's about every once a month).Monday,I'm going there again to pick mom up from the airport and 3 weeks from today,going there again.

Oh yea, one more thing.This week is loads of driving.Got to Bkt Jalil(finally!)too!Mmm....the car needs checkup-definitely.
Work is picking up n yet,tomorrow is my last day.Expected this to happen already-oh,how my fellow colleagues 'like' me so much now.Expected this,so, ain't gonna say anything.Go on,hate me,I can't do anything.

Whatz been going through my mind?Planning,planning,scheming,enquiring,applying,thinking

I learn something today - focus & concentrate.
Not going to explain now.Will take forever.
Think I shall call it the day. But, today is a day to remember actually. -Just feeling bit different,so,better jott it down.

Monday, June 13, 2005

On my own again

Staring at the screen won't help.Knowing that ppl actually read,digest,probably judge won't help.What fadz says is true.There will come one point of time where,you don't trust your own blog anymore.Fear of what?

Some find it easy,coz it's not personal thoughts.It's about the news,about what is happening lately,about what goes on next door.Less on what is happening to ME,how I overcame such and such failure,less on disappointments,...much less from the truth.Some write for the purpose of accumulating an audience and keeping them.(-CNN forum on the topic of 'blogging').Some,...I figured, just read other blogs and try to incorporate ideas to call one's own.

My thoughts?Random.Like the title.It's so random,it's not worth categorising.I don't even know how. :)

Phantom of the opera.phAntoM of ThE OpeRA...."think of me....think of me (paroles de think of me)- She has the sweetest voiceeeeee.........................

Think of me
Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye
Remember me
Once in a while, please promise me you'll try.
When you find
That once again you long to take your heart back and be free,
If you ever find a moment spare a thought for me.

We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea.
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me.
Think of all the things we've shared and seen,
Don't think about the way things might've been.

Think of me,
Think of me waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me
Trying too hard to put you from my mind.
Recall those days, look back on all those times,
Think of the things we'll never do.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you!

Can it be?
Can it be Christine?
Long ago, it seems so long ago,
How young and innocent we were!
She may not remember me,
But I remember her.

Flowers fade, The fruits of summer fade,
They have their seasons so do we.
But please promise me that sometimes
You will think...
(Opera singing)
Of me!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Composer Biography -Classical/Romantic Period

Classical period

1)Franz Joseph Haydn (1732-1809)
Good friends of Mozart.Doc in the art of music in the University of Oxford.Wrote the former national anthem of Austria.Completed Sonata Form.Taught Beethoven the art of counterpoint.Fondly addressed as Papa Haydn.Spend most of his life working for Esterhazy Court.Brought together symphony,string quartet,piano sonata.Wrote many trios.1026 performances of Italian operas in 10 yrs!(1780-1790).(wealthy-highly paid)Consolidated roccocco music into sonata principle.Least neurotic of the great composers!lol!!Not child prodigy,but work his way up,creatively.

2)Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart(1756-1791)
Wellknown as child prodigy.(Genius).Son of the royal composer,Leopold Mozart of Austria.Died young & poor(pauper).Near end of his life,composed "Requiem",which was unfinished to an unnamed patron.Met Haydn at the age of 25.Married Constanze,the middle child of the Weber family.Spendrift.Highly critique of his fellow musician,peers.

Late classical to early romantic period

3)Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827)
Became deaf later his years but continue composing.I would say,Father of Romantic period.Equated to Shakespeare.Learned from Haydn and Mozart but not really keen.Developed own style.32 piano sonatas.Nearing to becoming deaf,his composed his 'Fifth Symphony',which,somewhat relates to his fate.

4)Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy(1809-1847)
Jew-German.Died from overworked and stroke.Second child of a jewish banking family.Child prodigy as well.Famous piece-"Midsummer Night's Dream".Grandson of the famous philosopher-Moses Mendelssohn.His pieces are compared to many many composers,probably because he sets an inpetus to early romantic period?

5)Franz Peter Schubert (1797-1828)
Romantic.Master of melodies.Long extensive melody as subject matter compared to Beethoven.Simply adores Beethoven,even died a year later than him.(diehardfan?)Son of a schoolteacher.Short,wear specs,students call him 'Little Mushroom'.Studied law a while but still went back to music.Enjoys composing,less of a performer.Not really sociable person.

*Schumann (who attempt to commit suicide and turned insane)
*Chopin (Nocturne)
*Berlioz (To find out)
*Liszt (To find out)

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


I realize these days,I give ppl blank looks.Just want to be at present,want to say something but have nothing to say.Tongue-tied.This is the after effects of thinking too much,I think.(lol*)

Sunday, June 05, 2005


Just got a phonecall from Rumah Hope telling me there's a session going on today.It's Jerry and Joel's last day in the HOme.AAGHAGHAGH...why didn't anyone tell me?!

Gonna miss the boys very much.Especially Jerry,actually.Cannot believe I missed the session and worst still,it's their LAST session. Sigh.Things just happen in such odd ways.The ironic thing is:I was in PJ meeting the colleague for karaoke and used Rumah Hope as the meeting point earlier this afternoon!Which means,I was just a few blocks away before I head home!

Things really happen in such odd ways.
Some things are just better left incomprehensive.

To blog? blog.

Watz been happening today?Well,tired out.Sang my lungs out.Today,it's one day where I heard this fellow colleague sing like a real professional.He has one really good voice.Waaoo.Of course,the ladies have beautiful voice as well,no doubt.But it's rare to have me go 'wao,now tat's REALLY good voice' to a guy.Loads of songs to sing.I love chinese songs but going to force myself to learn up the lyrics.An inspiration to read chinese.I'm so tired now.

One of my colleague(ymh)whom I'm getting closer to,well,she tells me that she has this band playing later tonight-was asked to fill in the keybordist & vocal position.The cool thing is,she just tells me and just shrugs it off.(i'm like,"keewll")Anyway,this lady is an audio engineer,classical piano diploma holder as well as an aspiring drum player.I'm just gonna learn the audio part from her-man,she's good!

It's just music the whole day through.I wish I had my listening skills tuned up since I was young.Especially,to have it tuned in a way that I am able to play the piano by ear.Early in the morning,got the opportunity to get my friends' gf(now,my friend too!)to play a couple of songs over the piano.She is next best person to Iman,who both,play by ear.One thing which I'm determined to learn in due time.

I'm gonna start revising my hearing skills since I have taken the effort to pick up on theory,dance and sight reading for the past year plus.

Everyone should learn an instrument.Everyone has the potential to express themselves through music.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Leaving on a jetplane

**hang on,the lyrics don't really apply to me!no wedding ring waiting for me!!*lol!
but lovely song.

John Denver - Leaving On A Jetplane Lyrics

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking it's early morning
The taxi is waiting, he is blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome, I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for meHold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

There is so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go I think of you
Every song I sing I sing for you.
When I come back I wear your wedding-ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for meHold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes, and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to comeI wont have to leave alone, and I
wont have to say:

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for meHold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,I don't know when I'll be back again.

Oh babe I hate to go.


:) :) :) :) ^-^ mm... these 'emoticons' so limited edition.Not enough to describe.

dumm ddeeeee..dee dee dum.Had a good meetup today as well in Ikea/Igano,DU.I got myself cool earrings and one nice top.yay.Not much of a shopper but had this shopping craze suddenly?Mm.Hugz to Charissa,JoA,Mlene&KV.(n bf too *wink*)Whom graciously spent almost the whole day with me just eating,chatting,walking,seeing things in DU..which for me,it's like ..wahhh...wowww...ohh...weee... hehe."suaku".Never been out for such long time,I think.

Just smiling all over.Going to be a good weekend.It IS a good weekend actually.Tomorrow,meeting up with YMH colleagues for a karaoke session.Yayyy..can't wait to sing again.See what choice of songs they have in store.They're so full of ideas.

These few days,I have friend's gf staying over with me,BK(FM's gf).wakakakak...loads of laughter,exchange of ideas and thoughts.Such a dear person.I'm glad things are working out.^-^ She is truly an amazing lady.There's just so many times I stare at her blankly and go silently 'now,tat's a good thought'.

Mm..what else?Well,I'm still thinking about yesterday's gathering.Makes me feel soooo...warm,fuzzy,embarassed too.I got a card stating 'congratulations' and honestly,all I can think of is 'WHAT?!'Congratulate me on what?!I so wish the card comes 2 yrs from now when I get my paper.I don't think I qualify for that card yet.(unless I get married within these 2 yrs..yea...the card sounds valid though).lol!

Oh yea,another friend is getting married and I got the invitation card today.Eppy eppy news coming from all over.Erm ah,the wedding is 2 weeks from now,after my last day of work. :)

The whole day(going to be the whole month)..the only song in my head playing is-"all my bags are packed,i'm ready to go...i'm leaving ...on a jetplane...etc etc"- John Denver. Boy,I like his song lyrics.Same like 'perhaps love'.His lyricist and I think of things the same way(for these two songs,I guess).

Bold step in the making.
I'm so in the mood to type now! Will go to ejournal to type...lolll..... lurvely...
yay..and what better way to express than a session of karaoke tomorrow!!!!wowwee junior juice!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Surprise Farewell

I will definitely blog about today.Definitely.

What a surprise....what a total 'huh?!' :) Dear ol'friends who made the effort and enjoyed the company,laughter and just plain -it's-good-to-meet-up- session.*hugsss TO ALL* Really took me by surprised..sorry,it takes a bit of time for it to register into my head that it is a farewell gathering for me.I really didn't know.I guess,this time,I'm really fooled.

I love u all so much.Somehow,I'm just so blessed with such good ppl around me.It's an honour.What happened was there was a gathering where many of my ol'friends(who else,KCBA gang) turned out & with cake to add to the occassion,(of which I thought was for another friend).

Although,there were odd moments of silence,but I love it all.The silence,the noise,the laughter,the blurness in me.I didn't know that ppl still do these kind of thing(surprse farewell stuffs)at such an age where all are busy with own lives and probably more worried over 'marriage arrangements' or 'career involvement'.

Simply beautiful.
This is a day to remember.Thx to mm...shld I mention names?FM,BK,MY,JL,WF,YS,CY,WH,CAT,LJ,WL,FC,GW,TR,LJ's neighbour...did i miss anyone out?Uncle too.

so touched. *speechless*