StoryTime
So-so day today.Determined to learn music.Borrowed heaps of books-practiced drumming to improve on rhythmic skills just now.My essays?Still not done.Music essays are;geez;I don't know what to say how I 'feel' sometimes.Cmon!I rather work on manuscripts and tell u the pattern on it.Watever.
The above para?Total rubbish.lol.
What has been happening?
-Growing up.Growing old.Tat's what has been happening.Don't know wat to type actually,but find that I wanna say something.Mm..Let me recollect my thoughts.
Middle PathIt is important to do things moderately.(bUT!I demand perfection).
To be humble.To be grateful.To reflect and learn.To enjoy life's little treasures sometimes.To stop!And look.
To accomplish any task given-with utmost respect,diligence and commitment.
To bring myself to halt whenever nasty thoughts arises.Most importantly,let the thought dissolve away and not bring it to the mouth/action.
Whatever happens next week,shall see.
Eyes droopy,but cracking head still-
Important-
WISDOM-to talk when I am required to,to type when I want to,to act when I need to.
Patience - patience. One step at a time.One step at a time.
Current Commitments and Area of Focus -
Music;learning and reading the theoretical aspect of music/musicology.Listening on drastic 20th 21st music.Compiling teaching materials in accordance to syllabus and resourcing the 'best' methods of imparting musical knowledge.
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work;Want to help the company.Make full use of me pls.I'm at your service.Contributing my part-as much as I am allowed to and am able to.I hope everyone at workplc feel at ease;not shaken or stressed out.Wave of uplifting morale-pls come!
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POWill make this future commitment again.Know they are in desperate need of volunteers--but,I am really tight in schedule right now.Will volunteer again maybe in few months' time.
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MrK's thesisOn going process.
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This blog!I am committed to continue blogging regardless of circumstances.Open-ness is crucial and imparting experience and good thoughts is important not only for myself but for anyone who need tat dose of 'mental boost'.haha!Sudden wacky thought.It is important to me,to be able to keep on typing and keep my friends (and family?!)in-link with my life.
ok! enough.Too tired now. Really blurry----- zzzZZZZZ (tomorrrow closing of Commonwealth games...shld I go?.....mm.)
Random Thoughts
FoodCornflakes,BubbleRice,Bit of Muesli.Pour milk and yoghurt on top.Nice and easy breakie
Bread and canned tuna.Healthy lunch.
In between,pop in some chocolates,hot drink/tea,mini mooncake/chips
Splurge on rice and vege/meat/soup or noodle.Optional.
My current food intake. ^-^
MoodLight hearted,bubbly,cheerful,determined,dreamy,wondering,excited.
Weekend AgendaWatched movie yesterday.Funny one. ^-^ Great weekend start!!(Had not watched a movie for ....erm,*gulp*a year plus??(omigosh!*blush*)lol!
Groceries,essay writing,reading.Look forward for opportunities to laugh,chat,smile.Mm..peaceful walk/jog/run(er..run is bit too difficult at this stage)...maybe make some phonecalls home to friends and family.
I wanna prepare lesson plan for students,inspiring kids-encourage me to find out more so that I am able to share.what is gigue,sarabande,sonata form,how was the lifestyle in the 17th18th19th20th century & the musical influence!
Okay!Enuf planning-let's get rolling!!!!
rolling n rolling rolling...n rolling rolling n rolling rolling!
.... oh oh---- lenghty discussion about some Buddhist view with a friend yesterday nite --- frustrating. Secondly,Bodhivana this sunday??mm....depends now.
Blog not to blog?
blog? not to blog?blog? not to blog? BLOG!!haha!!blig blog blug.
I am not going to worry myself away about what I'm gonna type-coz I'm just gonna type!Today,just came back after teaching--got new students!Yay!And I did extra effort today-I brought CDs related to their exam pieces and it is good to train their listening skills!Yay!And achievement to 'additional music exposure'.Learn to teach,teach to learn.And ol' students getting comfortable with me so,it's easier to get them to work together.Duet was good-I'm teaching improvisation as well!Woh!My gd6 student-I'm no longer as 'panicky' as I was before;we're getting along well.I wish I can learn to play the saxaphone from her...... wahh..i want a saxaphone!!lol..(wishful thinking still!)I borrowed her Imn's CD coz she likes 'soul/jazzy' tunes. (Imn must be flattered now.hehe!Promote!!Promote!!
mm..MMmmMM MM...my essays--- not done.Skipped class wed-no good.Buck up!My ex-student emailed me,she reads my music blog.So,inspiration to update the blog and READ MORE MUSIC!yay-after effects from music class-sowee.
All ppl back home.I miss them all.I'm doing allright here, and I hope they're too.Sometimes,I just don't know what to say now.Yea,Songie?Nothing to say?Big change huh...yea.Huge change.
So,today-blog!Life-ohhh life.Everyone going thru changes-MY-look forward to ur change.Enjoy ur hols!FM,less stress.Wonder how others are doing.I've been so self-engrossed lately.
STorY TIME!During meditation retreat last weekend:
One fine morning,during one of the 'break' session,I walked up the hill,misty morning.Was overwhelmed with gratefulness & peace.I cannot describe.But,I would like to share with all.
Reflection on my life:
This journey that I walk-- I've got many stories to tell.Astounding ppl that I meet,situations that I came across (and STILL going through)....sometimes,it's always the situation that teaches me so much.The ppl-I've learnt the value of true kalyana mitras -priceless.These friends that I know--wow..u're all incredible.
it's late.I need to get sleep.Tomorrow early morning.CHIRPY SONGie typing away..bloggggogogogo.. *HUGZ*
Mundane Life-How interesting can it get?
Finally did my spring cleaning!(during end summer?lol)
Cleared my thoughts,washed my clothes,vacuumed the unit,cleaned the toilet,wash the dishes,cook good food for the stomach,...blogging now(which means,my thought flow no longer jammed up...)baked cake.Chores are good!
I begin to appreciate ML's principle on -simple living.It's like,ah!Now I understand...lol..sorry ..wee bit late.^-^ .
It is the very essence to make mundane life as interesting as can be.As simple as can be.
Monkhood?It will be an honour to know someone with aspirations like this.Truly an honour. :)
wow..2 blogs in a day is too much!
Dhamma Everyday
Dhamma Everyday.It's new everyday.It's a challenge everyday.
Retreat:
Learnt something.Passing thoughts.Everyday thoughts.The fickleness and shortness of it became apparent during the retreat.Realize the significance of the word -passing thoughts- In addition,the 32parts of the body,worth remembering and worth contemplating.
Describe:
I did my walking meditation on the plank floor.Especially the 'old' ones,where the creaking sound is v.obviously heard.Good meditation object-for me,at least.It really helped me zoom into focus.This time round,the sit was so much better as compared to the one day retreat I went with ML n HX,where at tat time,it was just plain-difficult.
Practicing is really tough.I know I've got a long way to go.But,despite that,in this life,the best thing that can ever happen to me is the understanding and practice of the Dhamma.(how much,how correct or how deep,I am not too sure!)This is THE most precious thing I hold and will NEVER trade with anything else.
Another thing:Perhaps,given a choice,since I know I'll 'be back' again;in my next life,I probably would want to be a female again.(But,with the determination,strength and aspiration to 'excel' even greater than before.)(bodhisattva??:))
I miss my Pa and Ma.But I can't describe how lucky I am to be here.It's not one's choice,is it?
Meditation Retreat
Off to candlebark site,
3day meditation retreat, Back on Sunday.
May I have a peaceful retreat.
May my concentration be good and be better.
May I practice diligently and not slack!!!!
May ppl around me- have good concentration too!!
Angel
Have you ever met someone with the kindest heart,and at that point of time,the most
compassionate look?Everything changes,but that look remains crystallized-
I've met an angel.
Mindfulness
Awareness of the breath.Sounds so simple but- :)
May I practice diligently.May I realize the importance of this practice and constantly remind myself to be mindful.It is v.v.v. important.
I left the fire on the stove on yesterday. :( Careless me.I'm sure NL must have skipped a heartbeat.I'm so sorry.Again-mindfulness.Lack of it can really kill.Sigh.What can do,try again.I know,I might not be so lucky the next time.I'm really sorry.
It's really peaceful,where I am staying. :) Beautiful morning,beautiful day.Breakfast:Cornflakes,muesli&milk &yoghurt.Lunch:At MrK's place,most probably rice n curry,vege.Evening,need to get groceries,the fridge is empty.Running out of ideas.Maybe this weekend,bake tarts & clean the unit a bit.
I like being around ppl.I like to talk,have good laugh and smile.How can I be serious?Enjoy having ppl around and sharing ideas,opinions,dreams and aspirations.I am attracted to happy ppl,joyful ppl,positive & kind ppl.And,boy,have I met so many!
One different thing over here is that,although there are nice ppl around here but the 'contact' space is lesser.Ppl here appreciate the distance-respect the peace.Not much of -mind-other-ppl's-business- issue here.In comparison to the place where I was born in,the ur-business-is-my-business scenario occur ever so often.(aw,cmon,u know we care,kind of thing!lol!)Maybe it's just the situation I am in right now.Not wide enough data to draw a conclusion.
Enuf-dreaming.Back-to-watching ze breth.
Type
8am- Need to get to work.Love my job, love my work, love my colleagues,don't really like the situation but am learning learning learning.Observing observing observing.Sit and wait,wait and see.Gibberish?Only time will tell.
Busy bee,busy as can be.Don't judge the way I write,don't criticize the way I speak,or express myself.It's not me anyway,just happen,that,at that time,the words are formed and blurted out.For good intention,I hope(most times).
PO-was asked to do a camp on the 24th weekend.The weekend before that,meditation retreat and this weekend,MrK has events lined up for me.Life is getting back to 'normal'...busy bee busy me.In between,essay writings,tutoring&..
ooOOooOo...late late late!
Weekend
Full-on!Study?Nope *embarrassed* Fun?Yea.The most bizzarre thing;I went clubbing on sat nite and to the forest monastery on sunday.How odd.All in all,a real full-on day definitely.Cleaning up,groceries,-clubbing.lol....but all good fun.Thx to Alx for the company along w Dle n Gang.
Two extremes in 2 days is pretty intense.Lucky thing,there's always Monday.Got a book to read and review by Wed.Will do that soon.Loads of stuffs to do but still bumming around.
This morning,wokeup,re-organize myself a little,and by noon,shld head off to the library for listening and reading.Music again!
Ajahn (n gang),well,they're really inspiring monks.The inspiration to meditate and practice;just overwhelming.Somehow,being serious is something I need to work really really really hard on.(do I want that?Me?Serious?)N now,meeting ppl like J&A-serious practitioner,really makes all things put into right perspective.Guess,I'll just skip along and happily find the right mix for me in my own special brew.
Change.Change.Change.The change in me,apparent?Gradual?For the better?Worse?
Bloggy mood-(rather,lazy mood?) another one of those days to crap...
Yellow Sticky Ball
Dearest Journal,
I have been wanting to write stuff in for past week but never seem to have the time or energy.Or trust-I don't trust u anymore.*nyek!*Ah,in the end,I still rely on a typingboard.So many things-keeping me busy and fully utilized.This is the best thing;to be fully occupied with stuffs to do so that I have the assurance that I am needed.(Well,for now at least)Thoughtflow at the moment?Do I want to describe and categorize happenings or summarize or analyze all that had happened?Ah...just type-lah.
^-^
I've got an extension at work as an analyst.*Beaming!*A comment yesterday;which is pretty flattering.CEO asks manager
"So,how long CAN we keep this lady over here?"(yay,lucky thing it's not 'SHOULD').Of course,as what Pa says to me,during happy times,just take it in but be aware that it will also pass.Yea,I know that this job is not permanent-I'm still a casual(requested for 4 day work,and they have approved it so that I can go for class and study)and I will be the first line to go in times of retrenchment.Yippiee yaii yee.
FW visited a couple of days last weekend from Syd.Mm..nothing much to say.Good to hav e someone to go cycling with(excellent..)and meet my hsemate,NL.MrK says he wanted to meet my friends,hopefully,in due time.Ppl!Meet my family here!
Mm,what else to rant about?I've got a list of books to read and review every week and 2 thesis proposal...heart racing.So,weekends!!My study time.Songiemusic will be active again(been sleeping for 2 mths!)
What else?Oh yea,went to Bodhivana last weekend too.And soon,this weekend as well.I've got questions to ask Ajahn.I like writing,thinking,pondering,expressing-is this an obstruction to a clear mind?Or rather,I feel that it 'sorts me out'....rather than jamm up my thought flow.Mmm must ask him this.
Throughout my interactions with ppl for recent weeks,I realize that it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to keep flushing in good thoughts,positive,encouraging ones because once a person gets negative and upset,it's like a black hole.
It sucks u in.Very frustrating situation to be in.My source of inspiration?
Hlini,Fadz,Jo,SF,ML,LaughingBuddha.I thank you.
Yellow Sticky Ball had great ride on the waves in the open sea....now,yellow sticky ball found the seashore!
